When You Can See The Problem, Acceptance Is The Solution.
Learn why diet culture and diabetes stigma can trap you in an endless cycle of fixing concerning diet, nutrition, and health, which robs you of the precious gift of being.
“I don’t know what to do,” Samatha explained during our nutrition appointment. She was trying to accept her recent diagnosis of prediabetes. Despite changing her diet and increasing her activity, the A1C value remained steady. “I feel better. I am enjoying going to the gym after work. I don’t understand why my blood sugar hasn’t changed.”
“It’s frustrating.”
“It is frustrating!” Her tone told me how hard it was. “I am struggling to come to terms with this diagnosis.” Samatha continued. “I am angry, frustrated, and sad simultaneously.”
“This is hard to accept, and you’re grieving.” Her reply, “I am.” hovered between us.
Seeing a bigger pattern
Being diagnosed with prediabetes is seen as a problem, so it makes sense to try to fix it. The wish is to learn more about prediabetes and to make changes to prevent or slow the progression of diabetes. When presented in this way, you can see that having prediabetes is something outside of you. You don’t “have it” because you are fixing “it.” It isn’t only prediabetes that we are trying to ‘fix.’ It is everything - from eyebrows to your toes - this need to “fix” things has been normalized.
The unseen consequence of ‘fixing’ is becoming trapped in an endless cycle of doing and never being. You can’t be yourself, and you can’t rest because there is always something about you or your life that is ‘wrong’ or needs some improvement.’
When you can see the problem, acceptance is the solution.
Your ability to see the problem is worth celebrating. Go you! Great job! Yeah!
Yet knowing what is wrong is only half the problem. The other half is fixing the problem. In this weird situation, the problem is fixing, so how do you fix the problem of fixing?
The solution to this problem isn’t more fixing because this will only re-energize the cycle of fixing. If you are like many of my clients, you’re exhausted and lack the brain space to solve this riddle.
Unpacking Acceptance
The solution to “fixing” is acceptance, and the first thing we must remember is that accepting our humanness isn’t easy. Speaking personally, I don’t like my humanness. My dislike for my humanness is the chafe. The irritation becomes the fuel that creates a cycle of resistance to acceptance I would like to unpack.
Diving deeper into acceptance, let’s talk about the five Gs of acceptance. (By the way, I chose five words that begin with the letter G for alliteration, not because they are the best adjectives to describe acceptance.) Grumpiness, Guilt, Grief, Glee, and Gratitude.
Grumpiness - is the chafe, irritation, and resentment that wakes you up and makes you realize a change is needed. It often sours your mood, day, week, and life.
Guilt - happens when you speak up for yourself or take action to meet your needs. It is the “...but I feel guilty when I …”
Grief - the feeling of loss accompanying the many transitions of acceptance.
Glee - is the weight of the burden lifted. It is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Gratitude - looking back and seeing the steps taken, the helpful outcome, or the wisdom received.
Getting trapped in the cycle of grumpiness, guilt, and grief.
Many of us become trapped in the first three G’s. It can sound like, “I shouldn’t be grumpy. I feel guilty when I’m grumpy because… (insert reason). I don’t want to feel grumpy or guilty, but I feel [sad, confused, hopeless, unmotivated].
While these feelings are relatable, no one wants to feel stuck in these three unpleasant emotions. Sweet Bodies: Practical Body Image Tools for People With Diabetes mini-course discusses acceptance in more detail. I recommend taking this course, which is part of your paid subscription because acceptance is an onion with many layers.
Accepting that you have value and worth helps you start investing in yourself; no weight loss is required. Applying this concept to what you learned might look like this.
“I give myself permission to stop controlling my [body, food, shape, size].”
“I give myself permission to stop controlling my [body, food, shape, size]. I don’t want to.
“I give myself permission to stop controlling my [body, food, shape, size]. I don’t want to because [reason].
“I give myself permission to stop controlling my [body, food, shape, size]. I don’t want to, because [reason ], but I get to let go of this familiar desire...”
“I give myself permission to stop controlling my [body, food, shape, size]. I don’t want to, because [reason], but I get to let go of this familiar desire...to benefit future me.
Step 1: Permission (you're giving yourself permission and breaking free from seeing permission from a diet, provider, or stranger on the internet.)
Step 2: Ambivalence (doing this seems simple, but dang - it is hard)
Step 3: Compassionate curiosity (you're identifying why it is so complex and ways to make it easier)
Step 4. Autonomy (In the face of your struggle, you're reminding yourself - “I am bright and able, gosh darn it!)
Step 5. Benefit (When you can feel the familiar tug of irritability, guilt, or grief, you pause and consider the benefits and why you are leaning into acceptance.)
In the journey toward acceptance, especially in managing conditions like prediabetes, the desire to "fix" everything often becomes an exhausting, never-ending cycle. But by shifting the focus from fixing to accepting, you open the door to a more compassionate relationship with yourself. While layered and complex, this process is worth exploring deeply, as it leads to liberation from the relentless pursuit of perfection.
The steps of permission, ambivalence, compassionate curiosity, autonomy, and recognizing the benefits for your future self provide a roadmap for this acceptance. Through this process, you reclaim your worth and autonomy, realizing that no weight loss or external change is required to honor your body and your journey. Acceptance, after all, is not about giving up—it's about showing up for yourself in a way that fosters growth, healing, and, ultimately, peace.